“No. Please no. Not after all this time. I mean a stupid accident. But I did okay, didn’t I? I mean I got, what, fifteen thousand years. That’s pretty good. Isn’t it? I lived a pretty long time.”
“You lived what anybody gets, Bernie. You got a lifetime. No more. No less.”
-From Sandman by Neil Gaiman
At this time I’m reluctant to post the actual rituals I used. I’m still too involved with what I did to fully understand it or what future consequences it still might bring. Moreso I’m fearful that someone may attempt this ritual, and then attempt to kill themselves to see if it works. While I can guarantee that if they did what I did they would survive it, I can make no guarantee of anyone’s competence with the rituals save for my own.
Likewise I usually don’t post personal accounts for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, I think they would be of little value or use to most people, especially if I provide the theoretical information and practical methods I used. Secondly I don’t want to brag. And lastly, I don’t want to sound like a crazy person, which I’m sure I would sound like. Unfortunately though I haven’t been able to analyze my personal experiences to the point where I can fully realize their meaning and convey the information in a generalized manner. So I have provided here some personal information to be used and analyzed as the reader wishes.
To begin, the original ritual I used I discovered by accident. I was attempting a ritual that would help me win the lottery, but I botched it (and was aware that I screwed up the ritual at the time). I believed that what I was manipulating would naturally fix itself if not correctly manipulated by me, but it didn’t. It was only recently that I realized the full impact of what I did and how to correct it. This is due in no small part to the information I gained from what I call the black grimoire and the aid of a mentoring spirit.
I can’t recall the exact timeline, but between the two rituals was a span of a couple of years. I cannot say for sure exactly how many times I should’ve died in that timespan. However there are two instances in which I know I should’ve died, and the only explanation for my survival is some sort of miracle. In neither case was I testing my mortality. That seems like a very stupid idea to me.
In the first instance I was shot, at close range, through the left side of my chest by a close friend and medium who had become possessed after a ritual. Based on the position of the wound I assume my heart was hit, and I was unable to move anything lower than my neck right after (whether this was because of the pain or blood loss or paralysis or something else I don’t know). I bled for a long time, received no medical attention, and after about a day of pain survived without even a scar to prove the bullet went into me. I know this makes me sound crazy and I’m already regretting writing this. However this is the abridged version of the events as best I can recall them.
In the second instance I was performing a spell and had created my own oil using herbs and burned it on a candle in a closed off room with little ventilation while I slept. I didn’t realize that one of the herbs I was burning was poisonous. My body shut down completely, I was no longer breathing (no idea about if my heart was beating), and it triggered a spontaneous NDE astral projection.
Is it still bragging about my magical accomplishments if they amount to a list of rituals I totally fucked up?
In the past I’ve noted that entities with longer lifespans often do as much or less with them than humans. Elves are a good example. Elves are typically portrayed as gay and frivolous in mythology. It’s because real elves don’t do shit. They jack around a lot. They live more than ten times longer than humans, on average, the majority of that is their adulthood, they spend about as much time raising children, and at their best they achieve, in terms of personal growth and development and their lifetime accomplishments, about as much as a typical human does. The same could be said of their civilizations culturally. As far as the development of art, science, spirituality, ect. it develops at about the same rate as a human civilization when measured in generations. Dragons are another example. They live even longer than elves and they’re far more driven. However it takes them a very long time to finish doing anything. It takes them a very long time to even contemplate or decide to do something.
I used to think this all came down to time management. Having a very minimal amount of time humans are very good at managing it efficiently. Creatures with longer lifespans tend to manage them very poorly and accomplish much less in the same time period.
I now have a new perspective and I realize it has nothing to do with time management, and it goes back to that Gaiman quote. All of us, elves, dragons, humans, whatever, will all achieve about the same amount in a single lifetime. Sure some will excel and some will be underachievers, but on average every species is the same. We all get the same amount of time for our personal growth and development, a lifetime. If you become immortal and live 5000 years you will have accomplished and grown no more than if you had died at the age of forty. In the end you got what anybody gets, one lifetime. Our true spiritual ages and growth cannot be defined in years or hours or moments, but only in lifetimes.
Things move in cycles. Each cycle has a beginning and an ending. After we finish one cycle, we begin a new cycle. Each cycle affords us opportunity for personal growth and expansion. Each new cycle is different than the one that came before it because we have grown and expanded, or if we have failed to do so then we repeat the same cycle over and over again.
There are many different kinds of cycles. We can be going through a long cycle, and inside that cycle there are many shorter cycles. We can also be going through multiple cycles at once.
The changing of the seasons is a cycle. The way the moon changes is a cycle. Life is a cycle that begins at birth and ends with death. As we move through that cycle we age and grow older. Lots of other things happen too, and we find many smaller cycles within the life cycle, and we grow as individuals. This is the cycle that concerns us because it controls our mortality.
Now there are two methods to immortality. We can control our movement backwards and forward through the cycle, and thus age ourselves prematurely or regain our youth at will, and so long as we never get to the very end of the cycle, we will never die. The other option is to remove ourselves from the cycle all together. We will then stop aging and live forever at whatever age we are.
Removing myself from the cycle is exactly what I did. With the perspective I gained I understand how to control the cycles too.
A friend of mine that was studying Comte de Saint Germain and other supposed immortals once told me that he believed the secret to immortality was loving your current life and living in the moment, since this seemed to be a trend he saw among certain legendary immortals. He was half right.
If you remove yourself from the cycle, you can no longer grow. Whatever situation you’re in is pretty much the situation you’ll be in for the rest of your immortal life. Some things may change. You might not always have the same job, but you’ll always have a job you enjoy as much as your current job and you’ll always be in the same financial situation you currently are. If you’re not in a relationship, you probably never will be in one, and if you are in a relationship, you might not be in that relationship but you will be in one like it for the rest of your immortal life. You’ll never spiritually grow into anything stronger than you are right now. Everything will stagnate.
Manipulating the cycle to change your age has a similar effect. Different periods of our life are defined by different levels of personal growth. When we manipulate a cycle to achieve a certain age, we ascend or descend to the level of personal growth that is defined by that age and we relive the situations and events that we experienced during that age.
For instance if you want to be eighteen again, know that you’ll also be working a job and making the kind of money that you did when you were eighteen. You’ll be in a relationship like you were when you were eighteen. You’ll have all the same problems and issues you had at eighteen.
Some of you might be thinking that if you could get back to a certain age, you could live it better and improve everything about your life. You can’t. If you fucked things up the first time you will fuck things up the second time and every other time you go back to that age.
The only benefit to immortality is if you love your life you can go on reliving the best parts over and over, or if your life is perfect you can stop it and remain there forever.
There are a couple of ways to cheat and change your situation even when you’re entirely outside the cycle.
The first cheat is that other divine actions that have precedence have to be carried out. You have to make an appeal to certain divine providences to remove yourself from the cycle. Normally events that fall under the providence of other deity’s cannot effect you since this would be overstepping divine boundaries. For instance death falls into the providence of several different deities, and you cannot die if you are no longer in the life cycle since this would be overstepping into the boundary of the deity that took you out of the cycle. If however a divine action has precedence, which is the case when the event started prior to removing yourself from the cycle, then the event must be allowed to continue even after being removed from the cycle, otherwise it would violation of another deity’s providence. For example if you had made a pact with a god so that certain events would occur prior to removing yourself from the cycle, these events would still occur.
The second cheat is that you can gain things if it is inevitable, you just can’t use them until you rejoin the cycle. This is especially true when you are set to gain things at a certain future point in time prior to removing yourself from the cycle (like an inheritance from a relative that will one day die). Removing yourself from the cycle won’t stop your relative from dying, and yet you can’t really receive the inherence being outside the cycle, but that isn’t recognized by the courts. Of course there is a chance you will lose the money, but you may get the money and just not be able to ever spend it for some reason.
For my own part, years prior to removing myself from the cycle I had sent a large piece of myself and my personal power away to attend to other business. When it finished it returned to me and I received a great deal of power. Although I had that power, and could feel it, I could make no practical use of it until I reinitiated the cycle
These are the cheats that I have found. I believe there may be another cheat, in regards to manipulating the cycle to change your age, and this may in fact be the great secret of immortality and how to use it.
Reinitiating the cycle has itself been an experience. I feel mortal again, and it’s a good feeling. When I initially removed myself from the cycle, I didn’t feel any great change. The change that occured was gradual enough that it went by almost unnoticed. But there was a change.
I felt the effects of the reinitiation immediately. The first thing I noticed was that life energy came into me and flowed through me. I lost this so gradually I didn’t even notice it was missing until it came back. As soon as I got that I felt a greater connection into the Earth, into all living things, into the movements of the universe. I can also sense and feel myself aging and growing older moment by moment. I couldn’t do this before and I seem much more sensitive to life energy. Whether this is a side effect of removing myself from the cycle, or if this is due to the power I gained going into effect the moment the cycle ended I cannot say. I also can’t say if this is a permanent sensitivity, or if I just feel it so strongly now because I’m not used to it. In a few months from now when I am used to it, I may not feel anything at all.
I also noticed that my life energy is not what it used to be. There’s a slight taint of decay on it. It’s death energy. Although for the most part the energy flowing through me is life energy, the energy of a living thing, there is also death energy not just mixed in, but like oozing off of the life energy (for lack of a better description), like I’m also a dead thing. Kind of like I should be dead but I’m alive. And I should be dead, I should’ve died at least twice already. As of yet I haven’t been able to control, change, or limit the death energy, at least not completely, and partly because it seems tied directly into my life essence. I can’t help but think that this exists for a reason, as a way to mark me as something that should be dead. Which makes me wonder if it’s meant as a target.
I’ve been drawing many spirits to myself lately, but the increased energy could be part of it, and the death energy I’m currently putting out is the sort of thing that tends to draw dead things to you. I also received omens in my dreams last night that I was being hunted. No idea how valid the information was, but it goes back to the theory of being marked with a target.
While writing this article up another strange side-effect became apparent. I killed a cockroach. First off I felt its spirit leave its body. I’ve felt that with people in the past and even animals, but never with something as small as a bug, granted I never even tried to sense a bug’s spirit leaving its body, but I also seemed super-sensitive to it happening. I also felt something else connected with its death that, to use a cliche, hit me like a ton of bricks. It knocked a lot of energy out of me for a few minutes, like I had just done some great magical feat. I’m not sure exactly what I felt. If it was its spirit leaving this world, or some other spirit or god come to claim it, or if I had made something concerned with death or the dead aware of me by killing something else. I could swear I felt the veil being broken though. The whole event is a swirl in my head and I wasn’t prepared for it. I’d have to experience it at least once more to get a handle on what actually happened.
Well that’s everything I have for now, except for some specific information on the rituals which I’m not sharing at this time. I also know how crazy all of this sounds, if I were reading this on the internet I would have a hard time believing it, so please don’t think I’m crazy for writing it. I have lots of other good articles on magic and spirituality, many of which are far more sane, to prove that I’m not crazy. Also I’m trying not to brag or place too much importance on myself. I mainly wanted to get the information up and available ASAP, and it’ll probably be months if not longer before I can view this all objectively without regard to my personal experiences. In the future I’ll try to leave my personal accounts out of the articles.