Rich’s New Blog

July 22, 2007

I thought I’d mention that Rich (a friend who sometimes comments here) has made a new blog called Trolltopia, which deals with subjects that he believes wouldn’t go over too well with some of the readers of his other blog.

Right now he’s doing a tarot card of the day thing where he draws a tarot card every day or two and then writes his interpretation. And there’s an open comment section if you want to participate too.

Edit: Rich’s blog went down a while ago. I’ve removed the link. 

Account 3: Seems Like Old Times

July 9, 2007

A while back I wrote a series of accounts for a friend’s e-group which detailed magickal experiences, particularly those that dealt with otherworldly entities. The group is now pretty much dead, and these accounts don’t have a real home. I don’t see much value in these accounts, except maybe as cautionary tales, but I already wrote them and I’m in need of good blog filler. Maybe someone will get some use out of these or see something similar to what they’re dealing with.

It’s been a strange night. A lot of weird stuff has been going on, and a lot of weird and nasty shit seems to have wandered into my house. I just chased away a giant wooden bald thing with a big nose I caught walking down my stairs. Looked like a deranged Pinnochio.

Anyways I have a few metaphysical experiences from when I was a young child, and the last ones I had involved these evil little dogs. From about when I was five these things terrorized me for quite some time. They were these evil, demonic white dogs. Huge, ferocious things. Very intimidating. They seemed to cast off fear and they would terrorize me at night. I called them nightmares, because when I told my mother about one of them she told me it was a nightmare.

About the time I was maybe six or so I stopped having any metaphysical adventures at all. I was still terrified of these dogs for several years after that, but I never saw any of them again.

Well one got into my house tonight and tried to terrorize me. Just like old times. Except now it’s a tiny little white furball that could barely reach above my knees on its hind legs. And the extent of its power seems to be casting off a bit of fear for a boo type effect when you first see it. If not for the fact that I just plain don’t like these things, I could probably keep it around the house as a pet.

Account 2: The Chaos Ball

July 9, 2007

A while back I wrote a series of accounts for a friend’s e-group which detailed magickal experiences, particularly those that dealt with otherworldly entities. The group is now pretty much dead, and these accounts don’t have a real home. I don’t see much value in these accounts, except maybe as cautionary tales, but I already wrote them and I’m in need of good blog filler. Maybe someone will get some use out of these or see something similar to what they’re dealing with.

Things have been a bit messy for me lately. It’s not like things were great before, but things got really bad when I started amassing large amounts of chaos energy in my bedroom. I thought this was a good thing. I don’t know why I did this, or what good I thought would come of it. But it seems to have made a mess of everything lately. I’ve also noticed that my magickal abilities have been very limited or erradic lately, which I think was caused by all of that chaos energy.

Then a few days ago I decided it would be a good idea to rip a hole in space and time in my bedroom, and that project has been my biggest focus lately. I’ve attracted a lot of things here since doing that. There are some dead people around, what T says is a boogie man, and some other stuff. Someone also attacked me magickally last night. Not sure where they were, but the attack was weak and they got something painful back.

Anyways I decided last night that I’d talk with Saturn and try to get some help with my portal. I’ve never talked to Saturn before, which is why this is really strange. When Saturn’s energy went through me, it was very solid, very earthy in nature. It made me feel less flexable, and I could feel my astral body solidify from it. That doesn’t describe it well, but immedietly I thought about the 21st tarot trump, and I could see the assosiation of Saturn with the twenty-first trump and the element of Earth.

And it was deja-vu. I remembered thinking this before, the last time I felt Saturn’s energy. But this was my first time talking to Saturn. And I’ve been going through my brain trying to think of what time I’m thinking about, but there are no memories of this happening before, and nothing similiar to this. But I remember all of this happening exactly like this before.

Anyways I opened up the portal some more and slipped into the astral with the intent on jumping through it. When I got into the astral though, I got jumped by five dark fae. Creepy little things. They were trying to rip me into pieces. I was putting up a good fight, but something else came into my room and the fae immedietly scattered and took off. This is the strange part as I’ve never felt or experienced anything like this before.

When I looked at what had come there, it was indescribable and incomprehensible. It was not human, or humaniod, or like anything of this world. It was not like anything of any plane I’ve ever been to or seen in a vision. I’m pretty sure it had more than four dimensions. Although it was like a dark blue, and it seemed to have a blue-like aura to it, there were other colors too. I can’t really get what it looked like in my head, but I think some of the colors don’t exist. I think what I saw was Saturn. Not an aspect of Saturn, or a personification of Saturn, or Saturn as he is in this realm, but all of Saturn.

When I looked at Saturn, the energy drew me into it, and it was beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. When I talk with a deity, the energy I recieve is very strong. If you were to compare that to a light drizzle on an umbrella though, this would be standing naked on a skyscraper during a hurricane that can lift trucks off the ground. Immedietly the energy surronded and consumed me completely. There was just so much of it, and it was so much more than what I was. And I became a part of it, and I could feel myself as no longer being, but being just a small part of something that was much larger. And it was quite pleasent.

I know there’s more, and I know things happened after that, but I have no memory of it. All I know is that I did come out of the projection, and when I did I obviously was my independent self again. I didn’t pop back where my memory ends though, I just have no memory of what happened after that point. I went to sleep right after getting back into body.

Some other things have changed too. The chaos energy is gone. The portal seems to be sealed up now. At least somewhat. I’m wondering if I should open it back up. And I seem to be fixed. In fact, I seem to have improved a bit. I can channel again, and I can see the metaphor shapes, and it’s easy to talk to things again. I also got to fight some last night, and that always makes me feel better and relieves some tension. I just have a lot more clearity now and I’m a lot more focused.

Addendum: At the time I posted this I was looking to see if anyone had an explanation for what had happened. I honestly don’t remember what I was going through or why I had trouble channeling at that point in time. I also have no clue what I meant by seeing metaphor shapes, and that might be a typo. Also, several weeks after posting this I had realized that T was responsible for tricking me into summoning the chaos energy, and I think I’ve now figured out how he did it too. As a final note, there were other side-effects that didn’t really appear until later, although I’m not getting into that.

Account 1: Evocations by Telephone

July 9, 2007

A while back I wrote a series of accounts for a friend’s e-group which detailed magickal experiences, particularly those that dealt with otherworldly entities. The group is now pretty much dead, and these accounts don’t have a real home. I don’t see much value in these accounts, except maybe as cautionary tales, but I already wrote them and I’m in need of good blog filler. Maybe someone will get some use out of these or see something similar to what they’re dealing with.

T told me that B wanted this account written up and added to the group in order to catalog it, but he didn’t think it was necessary to do that. I told him that if B wants it, I’d do it. Since I don’t know who might be reading this in the future, I’m going to refrain from mentioning the grimoire or tarot deck that was used. This is an account of what happened with me and T the other day, and T can fill in any details I miss.

I was talking on the phone with T, and T had come across some of his old notes from when he used to hold classes. He went through some of them, and told me some of his curriculum, and he gave me a couple of the tests he had for his students. Among his notes there were several pages from a grimoire. T had read them out loud to me and explained some of what was contained in the grimoire.

T then said that there was a tarot deck associated with the grimoire and gave me the name and asked if I had ever heard of it. When I told him no he said I should look it up and see what it was like. So I went online and found a site that had pictures of all the cards up. The deck was not a tarot deck. It had cards with pictures and I didn’t see any relation between it and a tarot deck. There was something there that sort of draws you into the deck. But at the same time it felt completely repulsive. I had told T that the deck was icky and there was something very wrong with it. That’s the best way I can describe what I felt. I also had an innate need to burn the deck. T had told me a story about him going into a trance and burning the associated grimoire in the past. Of course the deck was on the computer screen, so burning it wasn’t an option. But I did close the window and deleted the cache and history in the web browser.

Around that time I started to notice some stuff moving around my room. T told me later that he had sensed three entities in my room, although I only ever identified two of them. The one that caught my attention, which I became focused on, was the same thing that T was seeing over at his house.

The thing had a humanoid shape to it. It was very tall and very thin for its height, lengthy. A lot of it wasn’t very human-like though, and its limbs didn’t end like humans do. It looked like his arms ended in spikes or claws. In some ways it reminded me of a masters of the universe toy I used to have, the one that you could assemble different ways.

Anyways when I felt this thing I immediately didn’t like it. It had an icky feeling to it. It was a very bad thing.

I ended up using a light attack against it, and it was more instinct than anything else. The attack itself wasn’t something I usually use and wasn’t very human-esque, so I can’t describe it too well. The painful aspect of it would’ve been somewhat equivelent to throwing a bunch of knives at someone’s face. I also showed this thing how I felt towards it, and a bit of a glimpse at what I really was, and gave it a message sort of like, “You know what I am, do you really want to fuck with me and find out what happens next.”

At that point it sort of backed away from me, and seemed a bit cautious towards me. I can’t really describe the emotion I got from it then, because it wasn’t close to anything human, but I would say it was something akin to fear, although very different from it. Kind of like it served the same purpose as fear.

The thing remained in the room for a while longer, and there were some occurances in that time. The ceiling is speckled, and the thing was trying to channel into me and on the ceiling the pictures from the cards were forming. The window was also very offish. It’s hard to explain, but it happens common enough. Almost like watching a TV screen that’s on the fritz.

The energy of the rooms was also being converted. For my part I was trying to stop it from doing that, but it was probably a losing battle. I was carrying some Venetian energy in me, and the entity didn’t seem all that keen on that type of energy from what I could see.

T had the same thing in his home this entire time. I’m not sure quite how he dealt with his, or the totality of what happened over there, except that he seemed to have things worse, and he did have a drawer open by itself with the grimoire inside.

The thing or things left and everything calmed down a bit. That’s when I noticed the second thing moving around the room. It was a weird little thing, and I think it might be the same type of thing as what I used to have living with me because they did seem similiar.

It just looked like a little black blob of something that moved around the room real fast. I tried tapping it, and the results threw me at first. There was nothing bad there and no harmful intent, but it seemed empty. There was nothing actually there. Like it was bare. There was some energy there fueling it, but it really didn’t have any signature, and there was nothing beneath that. No thought, emotion, intent, basis, ect. Something that was empty.

I think it’s a chameleon type thing, and I think I had something that was at least similiar to it at one point. What I think it does is it finds other entities to tag along with for a while, and when it does it changes itself so it takes on their same aspects and energies. So it’s always 100% compatable with whatever it decides to join up with. Of course if it’s not currently attached to something, it has no aspect to it at all, it’s almost a nothingness.

The entity I had before was similiar to it in a few ways. For one thing, that entity was completely compatable with me. I tapped it and it had the exact same energy as me. It’s nature also seemed very similiar to my own. It also started out similiar to this thing when I first met it. It was a gray blob as opposed to a black one. But then it started to grow bigger, and it was also shifting into a human form. After a while it had a human head and human hands, and they were becoming more defined and more useful.

Anyways this other thing didn’t seem harmful in any way, but I got rid of it anyways because of what it came into the house with. On the off chance they have some association, I don’t want anything to do with it.

Three things, two of them similiar to what I described in my room, appeared at T’s house later on to go back through the portal, and he had some reprucussions from that, but I wasn’t there and you’d have to ask him about that.

Also, as an oddity, something came out of T’s portal and told him it was the true Venetian energy. The odder thing about that being I would’ve been in communion with Venus a few hours before that happened to T. Once again though, this isn’t something I really played a part in, and you’d have to ask T for a better description of what occured.

Addendum: T was well known in the group for being a metaphysical teacher. At the time I thought he knew better than to read a grimoire that had any real power to it, and believed him when he told me the grimoire he was reading was more or less worthless (it wasn’t). As a final note, upon further research I’ve found the toy was called Modulok.