The Virtues of Discordianism

Magicians, and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves and their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby disregarding an essential metaphysical balance. When magicians learn to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an immutable Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man’s endeavours, then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter heart, and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore gain more effective magic.

-Principia Discordia

I’m not a Discordian myself. I do however like and respect them, and I believe there is a lot of truth in their spirituality, even if it is overlooked by outsiders. Their main holy book, the Principia Discordia, is divinely inspired and provides a direct link and channel to Eris. Her wisdom is contained in the book. It’s also a very entertaining read (in the way television is entertaining, not in the way a horrible poem about a penis written by Crowley is entertaining), and I highly recommend it.

I do believe many magicians would benefit greatly by adapting some Discordian principles and believes into their magick, and I’d like to take a moment to look at those philosophies which err on the side of Discordianism that would provide the greatest benefit to a practitioner.

1. You can’t take this shit seriously – Really, you can’t, or you won’t survive it. If I took just what I’ve been through in this past week and took it seriously I’d either have a complete mental break-down or become an alcoholic. The ability to be a bit lighthearted and nonchalant about this stuff is one of the things that keeps us from curling up in a fetal position and muttering nonsense the rest of our lives. Which leads right into number two on the list:

2. In regards to your spirituality, your magick, yourself, and even your gods, you need to be able to laugh about it – Laughter is one of the best psychological weapons against the worst situations we find ourselves in. Laughter and joy also attunes us to the higher planes as opposed to the lower planes. And really, being spiritual is no excuse for being somber. Many look at spirituality as something that needs to be taken seriously and shouldn’t be joked about, but these are people who have most likely had a dead Jew on a cross stuck up their ass for some time now. This stuff is a lot more fun when you can laugh about it. And Gods are, supposedly, far more advanced and complicated than humans, and yet most seem arrogant enough to believe that concepts such as humor and laughter are so foreign to the divine that they have no understanding of them or their necessity to humanity. Those that truly love us, be they divine or otherwise, would rather see us laughing than not, would rather we be happy than not. And all of this leads right into number three:

3. Magick is supposed to be fun – I notice a lot of people bitch about the sacrifices they’ve made, the pains and trials they’ve endured, and the rigorous training they’ve undergone to supposedly become magicians. Other than the occasional rant about Wiccan stupidity I’ve been roped into, I don’t. I’ve sacrificed, I’ve endured my trails, I’ve gone through the training, and horrific shit happens to me on a weekly, if not daily, basis. But at the end of every day that I’ve been on this path I’ve looked back and thought to myself, this shit’s fun. I get to fight monsters and see other worlds and talk with gods and solve puzzles and manipulate the universe itself just for my own amusement. I love this stuff, and if I didn’t have it I’d be so fucking bored I’d probably kill myself. If you don’t enjoy magick, if it’s some burden or cross you’re carrying, you’re doing something wrong. Maybe this just isn’t the path for you. Maybe you aren’t made of the right stuff for this. Maybe you just need to change your perspective a bit.

4. Fnord

5. Freestyle, chaotic, carelessness is more often than not at the heart of true magickal advancement – We don’t typically advance ourselves as magicians by reading books and listening to lectures, carefully following basic exercises in order to strengthen our psychic abilities, and keeping to a tight structured path of attainment all the while acquiring numerous degrees. It’s those days that start with what seems like a good idea at the time and end with us getting raped by mermaids while fending off demons we’ve accidentally summoned into our bedrooms that ultimately build us into better magicians. The magicians who achieve the most aren’t the ones who think, “Wait a minute, this might be dangerous,” but rather the ones who think, “I wonder what would happen if instead of sitting in the goetic circle I laid naked in the triangle with the talisman drawn on my chest with a sharpie.”

5 Responses to The Virtues of Discordianism

  1. coyote says:

    Life Happens and magick abounds.
    Long as I don’t have to clean it I am happy.

    While you have had insane adventures you learn from each. Nothing is wasted.
    Many talk about the books they read and what others have done, but few can talk about what they do. The key to knowledge is to know first hand or your just reading the story.
    One should be the story.

    Part of why you get few or little responses in life when you write about such subjects.

    Most would rather read you. They don’t know how to do anything else.

    Without irreverences and understanding in the first person one will never know magick.
    Then one day you find out it was you that was behind the trick the whole time… :)

    Sadly, I have found…
    Most only engage in Mental masturbation in search of the perfect metaphysical happy meal. I rather eat at finer establishments. I know what they put in the shakes. LOL

    Good Blog. :)

  2. Amber Austin says:

    What’s a Fnord anyway?

    • Rob says:

      Originally fnord was a nonsense word invented by the discordians and randomly placed within sentences and lists in order to spread confusion and chaos.

      In the illuminatis trilogy the word ‘fnord’ was used as a place-holder word. The idea was that in the modern educational system when we are taught to read it is done in such a way that we mentally block out the word ‘fnord’ when we see it (and I say place-holder word because we can read fnord, so obviously that isn’t the word, and the word in question is another word). We’re also given a post-hypnotic trigger associated with the word so that whenever we do come across it, it creates fear and paranoia. The word appears throughout all news articles (driving anyone insane who attempts to keep up with current events) while it’s completely missing from sales ads (thus driving an economically based society). Some folks though were able to see the word ‘fnord’.

      The quote at the top of the page is from graffiti that was spray painted in California and is a reference to the trilogy.

  3. Oculus says:

    I enjoyed this blog!!! Hail Eris! Hail Discordia!!

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