An Astral Trip

This is a recollection of an astral projection that I posted online somewhere or other maybe a year or so ago. I’m not sure if it’ll be any use to anyone, but I’ve been raiding my archives of as of yet unposted material tonight and selected two small pieces to put up as posts.

So I took a little astral trip to the lower realms and ended up in one of the weirdest places I’ve ever seen.

The place I came to had a few different passageways going in different directions, it was one big hallway, and the floor and walls and ceiling were all covered in holes with energy seeping out. There was a man standing in the middle of all this where the pathway split several different ways. He was wearing a nice and normal suit with a cloth tied around his eyes while pointing in different directions. He didn’t feel yucky, in fact he didn’t feel much like anything. He was a fairly weak entity with very little energy. Possibly a ghost or maybe just a thought form, I’m not sure.

Anyways he told me that I was at the crossroads of all sexual fantasy, and that they had everything there, every imaginable kink, and I got the idea he was there to point me in the right direction.

I also quickly figured out correctly that the actual passageway to the sexual fantasies was through the various holes seeping out energy. The energy was all sexual but a bit different from each one. A person could find exactly what they were looking for with little difficulty just going by the energy.

It was also obvious that all of the sexual energy was lower realm sexual energy. They didn’t have every kind of sexual fantasy, only those that are regulated to the lower realms. But the fellow was quite pleasant both in his signature and in his mannerisms, and he was trying to be helpful, so I didn’t see any point in arguing with him about this.

The blindfold got me though. I can understand justice being blind. I can understand knowledge being blind. Love, destiny, beauty, poets, I can understand all of them being blind. But this guy was like a signpost. He was there to give directions. I couldn’t understand why he would be blind, so I asked. He said he went blind from constant masturbation.

I have to get laid before I go astral projecting again.

Pictures of Spirits

Let me start by saying I in no way endorse the parapsychological movement and, for the most part, I believe what they’re doing is a giant waste of time often performed by individuals with questionable IQs. I have even greater concern with their views on those who have developed true psychic abilities and their views on the individual rights and ethical and moral treatment of said individuals. Considering most practitioners see, on average, dozens of entities of various types on any given day and converse or otherwise communicate with such entities at times, there is no real point in obtaining evidence in order to somehow convince the skeptical outside world of ones legitimacy or to affirm ones own faith. All that being said, sometimes it’s fun to take pictures or record with a microphone and see what you get.

I was with Coyote Pendragon (now writing as Pendragon Deville, also known by many, many other names in many different places) at his home and we took these pictures after performing an evocation ritual. We tried to see what we could get.

This was the first one taken with my camera, and the first phenomena we captured. Notice the shadow in the picture. The shadow shouldn’t have been there, and it moved just as the photo snapped.

I then looked at the two previous photos, all photos taken in about a minutes time, and you can see the shadow moving from left to center.

It turned out however that this shadow belonged to Coyote, who was moving in front of our light source.

There actually was something right here in the circled area (note, not circled, having trouble doing that, it’s to the left of Zues’s altar before the TV in the picture), and we each took dozens of pictures of it and captured it, however what we captured faded from the screen within seconds of the photo being taken each time.

In this pic, taken by me with Coyote’s camera, we thought we caught an actual death shroud. Despite repeated attempts we couldn’t repeat the phenomena.

However, upon blowing up the picture, it’s very clearly Coyote, who jumped in front of the flash as I took it.

This next picture, however, is legitamate. These two photos were taken seconds apart by Coyote on his camera. There is no explination for the fog in the picture (and it wasn’t visible to the naked eye).

Upon blowing up the picture one can also see an eye in the corner. Coyote also points out the rainbow in the alter mirror as being legitimate phenomena, but I’m more skeptical as we managed rainbows of colors from various light sources (although not exactly the same effect) in that mirror in many pictures.

This too is a picture of the room with flash taken by Coyote, but something jumped in front of the camera right before it clicked.

Account 3: Seems Like Old Times

A while back I wrote a series of accounts for a friend’s e-group which detailed magickal experiences, particularly those that dealt with otherworldly entities. The group is now pretty much dead, and these accounts don’t have a real home. I don’t see much value in these accounts, except maybe as cautionary tales, but I already wrote them and I’m in need of good blog filler. Maybe someone will get some use out of these or see something similar to what they’re dealing with.

It’s been a strange night. A lot of weird stuff has been going on, and a lot of weird and nasty shit seems to have wandered into my house. I just chased away a giant wooden bald thing with a big nose I caught walking down my stairs. Looked like a deranged Pinnochio.

Anyways I have a few metaphysical experiences from when I was a young child, and the last ones I had involved these evil little dogs. From about when I was five these things terrorized me for quite some time. They were these evil, demonic white dogs. Huge, ferocious things. Very intimidating. They seemed to cast off fear and they would terrorize me at night. I called them nightmares, because when I told my mother about one of them she told me it was a nightmare.

About the time I was maybe six or so I stopped having any metaphysical adventures at all. I was still terrified of these dogs for several years after that, but I never saw any of them again.

Well one got into my house tonight and tried to terrorize me. Just like old times. Except now it’s a tiny little white furball that could barely reach above my knees on its hind legs. And the extent of its power seems to be casting off a bit of fear for a boo type effect when you first see it. If not for the fact that I just plain don’t like these things, I could probably keep it around the house as a pet.

Account 2: The Chaos Ball

A while back I wrote a series of accounts for a friend’s e-group which detailed magickal experiences, particularly those that dealt with otherworldly entities. The group is now pretty much dead, and these accounts don’t have a real home. I don’t see much value in these accounts, except maybe as cautionary tales, but I already wrote them and I’m in need of good blog filler. Maybe someone will get some use out of these or see something similar to what they’re dealing with.

Things have been a bit messy for me lately. It’s not like things were great before, but things got really bad when I started amassing large amounts of chaos energy in my bedroom. I thought this was a good thing. I don’t know why I did this, or what good I thought would come of it. But it seems to have made a mess of everything lately. I’ve also noticed that my magickal abilities have been very limited or erradic lately, which I think was caused by all of that chaos energy.

Then a few days ago I decided it would be a good idea to rip a hole in space and time in my bedroom, and that project has been my biggest focus lately. I’ve attracted a lot of things here since doing that. There are some dead people around, what T says is a boogie man, and some other stuff. Someone also attacked me magickally last night. Not sure where they were, but the attack was weak and they got something painful back.

Anyways I decided last night that I’d talk with Saturn and try to get some help with my portal. I’ve never talked to Saturn before, which is why this is really strange. When Saturn’s energy went through me, it was very solid, very earthy in nature. It made me feel less flexable, and I could feel my astral body solidify from it. That doesn’t describe it well, but immedietly I thought about the 21st tarot trump, and I could see the assosiation of Saturn with the twenty-first trump and the element of Earth.

And it was deja-vu. I remembered thinking this before, the last time I felt Saturn’s energy. But this was my first time talking to Saturn. And I’ve been going through my brain trying to think of what time I’m thinking about, but there are no memories of this happening before, and nothing similiar to this. But I remember all of this happening exactly like this before.

Anyways I opened up the portal some more and slipped into the astral with the intent on jumping through it. When I got into the astral though, I got jumped by five dark fae. Creepy little things. They were trying to rip me into pieces. I was putting up a good fight, but something else came into my room and the fae immedietly scattered and took off. This is the strange part as I’ve never felt or experienced anything like this before.

When I looked at what had come there, it was indescribable and incomprehensible. It was not human, or humaniod, or like anything of this world. It was not like anything of any plane I’ve ever been to or seen in a vision. I’m pretty sure it had more than four dimensions. Although it was like a dark blue, and it seemed to have a blue-like aura to it, there were other colors too. I can’t really get what it looked like in my head, but I think some of the colors don’t exist. I think what I saw was Saturn. Not an aspect of Saturn, or a personification of Saturn, or Saturn as he is in this realm, but all of Saturn.

When I looked at Saturn, the energy drew me into it, and it was beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. When I talk with a deity, the energy I recieve is very strong. If you were to compare that to a light drizzle on an umbrella though, this would be standing naked on a skyscraper during a hurricane that can lift trucks off the ground. Immedietly the energy surronded and consumed me completely. There was just so much of it, and it was so much more than what I was. And I became a part of it, and I could feel myself as no longer being, but being just a small part of something that was much larger. And it was quite pleasent.

I know there’s more, and I know things happened after that, but I have no memory of it. All I know is that I did come out of the projection, and when I did I obviously was my independent self again. I didn’t pop back where my memory ends though, I just have no memory of what happened after that point. I went to sleep right after getting back into body.

Some other things have changed too. The chaos energy is gone. The portal seems to be sealed up now. At least somewhat. I’m wondering if I should open it back up. And I seem to be fixed. In fact, I seem to have improved a bit. I can channel again, and I can see the metaphor shapes, and it’s easy to talk to things again. I also got to fight some last night, and that always makes me feel better and relieves some tension. I just have a lot more clearity now and I’m a lot more focused.

Addendum: At the time I posted this I was looking to see if anyone had an explanation for what had happened. I honestly don’t remember what I was going through or why I had trouble channeling at that point in time. I also have no clue what I meant by seeing metaphor shapes, and that might be a typo. Also, several weeks after posting this I had realized that T was responsible for tricking me into summoning the chaos energy, and I think I’ve now figured out how he did it too. As a final note, there were other side-effects that didn’t really appear until later, although I’m not getting into that.

Account 1: Evocations by Telephone

A while back I wrote a series of accounts for a friend’s e-group which detailed magickal experiences, particularly those that dealt with otherworldly entities. The group is now pretty much dead, and these accounts don’t have a real home. I don’t see much value in these accounts, except maybe as cautionary tales, but I already wrote them and I’m in need of good blog filler. Maybe someone will get some use out of these or see something similar to what they’re dealing with.

T told me that B wanted this account written up and added to the group in order to catalog it, but he didn’t think it was necessary to do that. I told him that if B wants it, I’d do it. Since I don’t know who might be reading this in the future, I’m going to refrain from mentioning the grimoire or tarot deck that was used. This is an account of what happened with me and T the other day, and T can fill in any details I miss.

I was talking on the phone with T, and T had come across some of his old notes from when he used to hold classes. He went through some of them, and told me some of his curriculum, and he gave me a couple of the tests he had for his students. Among his notes there were several pages from a grimoire. T had read them out loud to me and explained some of what was contained in the grimoire.

T then said that there was a tarot deck associated with the grimoire and gave me the name and asked if I had ever heard of it. When I told him no he said I should look it up and see what it was like. So I went online and found a site that had pictures of all the cards up. The deck was not a tarot deck. It had cards with pictures and I didn’t see any relation between it and a tarot deck. There was something there that sort of draws you into the deck. But at the same time it felt completely repulsive. I had told T that the deck was icky and there was something very wrong with it. That’s the best way I can describe what I felt. I also had an innate need to burn the deck. T had told me a story about him going into a trance and burning the associated grimoire in the past. Of course the deck was on the computer screen, so burning it wasn’t an option. But I did close the window and deleted the cache and history in the web browser.

Around that time I started to notice some stuff moving around my room. T told me later that he had sensed three entities in my room, although I only ever identified two of them. The one that caught my attention, which I became focused on, was the same thing that T was seeing over at his house.

The thing had a humanoid shape to it. It was very tall and very thin for its height, lengthy. A lot of it wasn’t very human-like though, and its limbs didn’t end like humans do. It looked like his arms ended in spikes or claws. In some ways it reminded me of a masters of the universe toy I used to have, the one that you could assemble different ways.

Anyways when I felt this thing I immediately didn’t like it. It had an icky feeling to it. It was a very bad thing.

I ended up using a light attack against it, and it was more instinct than anything else. The attack itself wasn’t something I usually use and wasn’t very human-esque, so I can’t describe it too well. The painful aspect of it would’ve been somewhat equivelent to throwing a bunch of knives at someone’s face. I also showed this thing how I felt towards it, and a bit of a glimpse at what I really was, and gave it a message sort of like, “You know what I am, do you really want to fuck with me and find out what happens next.”

At that point it sort of backed away from me, and seemed a bit cautious towards me. I can’t really describe the emotion I got from it then, because it wasn’t close to anything human, but I would say it was something akin to fear, although very different from it. Kind of like it served the same purpose as fear.

The thing remained in the room for a while longer, and there were some occurances in that time. The ceiling is speckled, and the thing was trying to channel into me and on the ceiling the pictures from the cards were forming. The window was also very offish. It’s hard to explain, but it happens common enough. Almost like watching a TV screen that’s on the fritz.

The energy of the rooms was also being converted. For my part I was trying to stop it from doing that, but it was probably a losing battle. I was carrying some Venetian energy in me, and the entity didn’t seem all that keen on that type of energy from what I could see.

T had the same thing in his home this entire time. I’m not sure quite how he dealt with his, or the totality of what happened over there, except that he seemed to have things worse, and he did have a drawer open by itself with the grimoire inside.

The thing or things left and everything calmed down a bit. That’s when I noticed the second thing moving around the room. It was a weird little thing, and I think it might be the same type of thing as what I used to have living with me because they did seem similiar.

It just looked like a little black blob of something that moved around the room real fast. I tried tapping it, and the results threw me at first. There was nothing bad there and no harmful intent, but it seemed empty. There was nothing actually there. Like it was bare. There was some energy there fueling it, but it really didn’t have any signature, and there was nothing beneath that. No thought, emotion, intent, basis, ect. Something that was empty.

I think it’s a chameleon type thing, and I think I had something that was at least similiar to it at one point. What I think it does is it finds other entities to tag along with for a while, and when it does it changes itself so it takes on their same aspects and energies. So it’s always 100% compatable with whatever it decides to join up with. Of course if it’s not currently attached to something, it has no aspect to it at all, it’s almost a nothingness.

The entity I had before was similiar to it in a few ways. For one thing, that entity was completely compatable with me. I tapped it and it had the exact same energy as me. It’s nature also seemed very similiar to my own. It also started out similiar to this thing when I first met it. It was a gray blob as opposed to a black one. But then it started to grow bigger, and it was also shifting into a human form. After a while it had a human head and human hands, and they were becoming more defined and more useful.

Anyways this other thing didn’t seem harmful in any way, but I got rid of it anyways because of what it came into the house with. On the off chance they have some association, I don’t want anything to do with it.

Three things, two of them similiar to what I described in my room, appeared at T’s house later on to go back through the portal, and he had some reprucussions from that, but I wasn’t there and you’d have to ask him about that.

Also, as an oddity, something came out of T’s portal and told him it was the true Venetian energy. The odder thing about that being I would’ve been in communion with Venus a few hours before that happened to T. Once again though, this isn’t something I really played a part in, and you’d have to ask T for a better description of what occured.

Addendum: T was well known in the group for being a metaphysical teacher. At the time I thought he knew better than to read a grimoire that had any real power to it, and believed him when he told me the grimoire he was reading was more or less worthless (it wasn’t). As a final note, upon further research I’ve found the toy was called Modulok.

Mermaids: A Personal Account

I don’t typically write about personal experiences on this blog. It seems a bit narcacistic to me for one. Another reason is that I don’t want to publish too much information about personal tactics. And I wonder about how useful it would be.

But I’m sure there are some people who a description of an experience like this one may help, and there are some who would find it interesting. And, more importantly, I’m too lazy to write up the numerology post right now and want to get something up.

I thought about this experience earlier today while reading an old book on folk legends when I got to a chapter that dealt with mermaids. There are no great secrets of mine hidden in here. I’ve told this story to most people, and it’s fairly safe in the information it gives out about me.

Well to start I have an item that I’ve filled up with a lot of energy and blessed under four different dieties. It’s a tool of mine, and it’s very powerful and can answer most questions. However it answers questions in its own way and causes a lot of chaos whenever it’s activated. It tends to open up any portals in the area and can easily summon all sorts of things. Using it is always an adventure.

Anyways one day I did use it, and not long after that I went to sleep. In my dream I was riding shotgun in a car as I talked to my friend on a cell phone. As I was talking I saw a building with a prymid roof and on top was a huge mermaid statue. I muttered something about a mermaid over the phone, at which point my friend asked me if I wanted to meet one. I tried to explain about the weird statue I was looking at when I suddenly felt a rush of energy coming off it.

It occured to me at that point that I was dreaming, and that something was coming, and I needed to wake up right away to deal with this.

I forced my eyes open and awoke in my bed, but I was already too late. I could see and think, but my body was having cunvulsions and I had absolutely no control over my limbs. This was very different from sleep paralysis (which I’ve had before). My body was uncontrollably shaking like a seizure.

And there was a mermaid sort of sitting on top of my chest (they have that whole fish part, no legs, which makes actually sitting kind of impossible). Her face was old and ragged. Her hair was long, slightly curled, seperated, and resembled snakes. In many ways her head resembled pictures of a gorgon. As ugly as she was, her fish part was far more disgusting.

From what she had told me, she was planning on raping me. She wanted to merge us together in a spritual-sexual type way. I understood what she was talking about. She claimed that we would both benefit from this.

There was no way I was going to let this happen. I could feel the portal she came through not far behind her, and I came up with two plans. Plan one was to concentrate as much energy into my chest as I could in my current state and in a short amount of time. Then I would release this energy out of me and hopefully it would be enough to push her back through the portal.

Plan two involved getting as much energy as I could manage, and then focusing enough to take back a bit of control of my body, scream like a little girl with that energy and break free of the paraylsis. Many of my battle stories actually end with “And then I screamed like a little girl at it and it ran away”. So many that it’s sad. It’s just that it’s a very effective tactic.

Plan one actually worked though, so I didn’t scream like a little girl this time. When the energy hit her from out of my chest she went flying through the portal, and the paralysis and convulsions instantly ended. After it was over with I got up and sealed the portal so nothing else would be coming out of it.